My Rainbow After The Storm

What started as a devastating blow to my heart has turned into such (dare I say) a blessing. In the last three weeks I got to know, understand and fall in a deeper love with my husband. During a  difficult time I thank God for always walking it through with me to the good that He has for us.

Prior to the news my husband dropped on me our intimacy was low to non existent. Don't get me wrong, I loved the man, found him very desirable but there seemed to be a barrier between us that we couldn't knock down, it was the elephant in the room. Considering all that, I truly believe that's what led to everything. We talked all the time, laughed, completed one another sentences but never really communicated. For us to sit down and bare our hearts, struggles and feelings with one another just didn't happen. He didn't know how to and I didn't trust him enough.

In three weeks we went to two counseling sessions, got serious, opened up and learned new behaviors. Before we could learn how to communicate, we had to be ready and that's what made all the difference with us. Seeing where we were and what we had become was a wake up call. That was never what we wanted to become and be to one another. Anyone that see's us can see how much we love each other, we just needed to learn how to better communicate and trust.

We have been very fortunate to be able to have our son stay with him mom and our daughter to stay with my mom for a few weeks so that we could focus on our marriage. It was almost like an intense marriage rehab. Though I was hopefully, I was scared we'd just fall back into the same cycle. Fight, make up, be good for a couple weeks then start all over again.

There have been "tests" along the way and all I could think was "here we go again." To my surprise my husband has put to use everything we've learned, he has been in tune with my feelings, gentle, understanding and the biggest of all, he communicates with me! I know that we may have bumps in the road but I pray we continue with our new habits and ride those bumps out together rather than battling each other along the way.

I feel like I'm married to a new man. A better man. He is gaining my trust. He's loving me the way that I need him to. I have never felt so close to him before. The new him has made him irresistible to me. I have fallen in love all over again with my husband.