I talk about our two kids often and nothing about our other two, there are many reasons for this. My husband's oldest is 20 yrs old and she does not live with us nor is there much of a relationship between us. She is every bit of the troubled or rebellious child. It's hard to talk about her and not sound like I'm bashing her character but the sad truth is that she is not much of a moral person. We have done everything imaginable to help her and did our best to guide her to live a good life. It breaks my heart to see how she chooses to live and treat her family. I can only imagine how my husband feels seeing his little daddy's girl grow up to be this way and not have a relationship with her.
The latest was her mom calling my husband saying she hasn't heard from her in 4 days and that shes been a no call no show at work, prompting her to file a missing persons report. While her mom and grandmother were worried my husband was very calm and sure of what was going on with her. His prediction was that she was back with her loser boyfriend and took off with him some where and turned off her phone so there would be no interruptions. During the days she was missing her mom was going to her daughter's friends houses, calling her boss and in the process finding out how serious her daughter's deception goes. It came as no surprise to my husband or myself but her mom was really shocked and disturbed by it. She strikes me as being in denial about how or who her daughter really is.
In the past my husband, her mom, her mom's boyfriend and myself have all sat down to make a plan of how to stir her in the right direction. The plan lasted only a week. It's hard because we can't make someone change or encourage them to do better when they are over 18 and can leave at anytime. She was brought up with a lack of discipline so now that there are rules it's foreign to her. Instead she chooses to live from house to house, or supposedly renting a room but in order to rent anything you need money and that's what she does not have. She sneaks living at my mother in laws house, the challenging thing with that is that she hides her there so that my husband won't go over there and tell her to leave. She's lived with my mother in law before and we thought maybe it'll work out but it just turned into her taking advantage of her 80 yr old grandmother and being disrespectful. What 80 year old needs that from a 20 year old let alone her own grandchild that she'll do anything for?
All the way around it is a sensitive subject. The only thing we can do is literally pray that she sees the error in her ways and that she is safe.
In my teens and 20's I was not an angel, far from it to be honest, but I have always valued and respected my family. My parents never stirred away from disciplining me or showing me tough love. It is not easy to discipline but the outcome of it is so worth it. Now that I am older and understand why it was done I can honestly say, my mom is my best friend.
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Party Planner
Next month I'm having my family over for a little theme party. I'm not sure if any of you have seen this show but it's the perfect theme for a party, Lip Sync Battle! I started mentally planning it 2 weeks ago and today I'm picking up an item for the party. We're all so excited for this party.
Here's the plan, every "contestant" will buy into the battle with $10. Each person has from now til Halloween to choose 1 song, rehearse it if need be and make up some killer dance moves for their song. This is an all out battle, anything goes, props, costumes, anything! Though one song will get you in the battle they will also need to have a back up song in case they make it to the final round. As of now I have 2 judges that will decide who will make it to the final round. Once in the final round the last two standing will have to perform their second song, which will hopefully be better than the first. The judges will determine who comes out the victor and the winner gets all the buy in money!
Now that the rules are set I got to start getting my house battle ready. Later today I'm going to pick up a disco ball, yes you read right, a disco ball. ;) We are going all out. I'm still on the look out for a funky background that needs to give off the right vibe, something that says, it's about to get funky in here. This will be a great time to pull out our fog machine. My husband said that the fog machine can not be used cause that's part of his performance. Not sure if he's joking or not. My family and I aren't heavy drinkers, though I went through a time haha but that's a different topic. Anyways, we don't drink heavily but we will be needing some drinks on hand to help loosen up before stepping into our alter egos. I'm thinking jello shots. We're going to a get together this weekend so I'll make some jello shots for the occasion to give it a trail run. This is going to be so much fun!
The song that I am choosing to do is the biggest secret I've ever kept! No one will see this coming, I haven't even told my husband and I tell that guy everything. Since the songs are picked I need to brain storm my outfit. "What to wear," is literally the question. Should I do a wig? Go sexy or funky? Microphone or no? Even if I did know the answers to all these questions I wouldn't confess on here, at the moment competition is tight around here.
Monday, September 21, 2015
Salad Without The Lettuce
One of the things I enjoy doing is looking for new recipes. I love cooking for my family. If it was just me, I would live off of avocado sandwiches for the rest of my life with an occasional bowl of cereal, Honey Nut Cheerios to be exact. Tonight was just my husband and I so when it's just us two I'm able to make things that we wouldn't have when the kids are here.
There's this recipe that I've been wanting to make for the past couple of months and today was the day that I was able to make it! :)
It's a Chicken Avocado Salad, mmm avocados! It was super easy to make especially since today was about 90 degrees, way too hot for me to be cooking. The only thing I would recommend is it to chill it before eating. So here it is.
Doesn't it look pretty? I love the way fresh greens look in food. I found this recipe on an app that I have called, All The Cooks.
I boiled one chicken breast, used 1 large avocado, cilantro, green onions, 1 lime and a bit of light mayo. Mayo and lime? Yea, I was iffy about it as well but it worked out well. I tasted it after making it and was disappointed but after it was chilled I loved it!
Just thought I'd share this real quick to get the word out about this salad. Try and enjoy! :)
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Experiment
This week we have been doing an experiment on the kids, bwwahaha, my creepy laugh, haha. I wanted to share it sooner but first wanted to see some type of results. In my previous posts I've mentioned about my son getting into his teenage attitude and always being on his phone. Too much of anything can be bad so it was time to take action! We decided that after school both the kids are to turn in their phones to me.
Before I go on, did you know that kids can be on their phones at school these days? I don't know if it's just his school but yup it's allowed. After hearing this I started thinking, he gets to be on his phone at school then comes home, puts his ear buds in his ears and sticks his nose in his phone til it's bedtime? Keep in mind that I have no idea what he's listening to or watching. Another thing my son shared with me, is that his friends are looking at porn on their phones. I like to think that my son does not mess with that stuff but really all we can do is just keep letting him know that we trust him to not look at that stuff and trust his judgement. Trust is a huge thing in my house and he hasn't done anything for us to question his judgment.
OK, back to the experiment. After the phones are turned in they can use that time to do their chores, home work and anything else within reason til dinner time. It's nice to have their homework done before my husband gets home because after dinner we can use that time to hang out as a family whether it's watching a movie or talking (my daughter loves to talk).
When we are done with our family time the kids are given back their phones. There is no set time as to when they get them back, every night this week it has been all at different times. One night they didn't get their phones til they fell asleep so they didn't really have any "phone time" at home. Another evening they got it back at 8:30pm. Now I'm a reasonable person, I had them helping me with a big cleaning project and they asked if they could listen to music on their phones while cleaning. I agreed but the rule was that they could not do anything else on their phones and no ear buds. My daughter can be so much easier at times than my son. He kept trying to sneak all this other stuff while wearing ear buds! I gave him 2 warnings and after that I took his phone away. My daughter on the other hand was able to keep her phone cause she followed our agreement.
The pros of this experiment is that my sons attitude has been way better then in recent weeks. For my daughter, well she doesn't really have an issue with being on her phone a lot, shes more into painting her nails and wanting to hang out with us. I hope she stays that way! Downside, my son gives me a little mean look for time to time when he has to turn in his phone but it fades away after he realizes that it won't change anything.
All in all, this has proven to be a huge success! We will definitely be doing this from here on out.
Yesterday I was thinking how much your child needs you when they are babies. They need our love, attention and for us to show them how to behave. I always thought that as they got older I would be less in demand but it is the complete opposite. I find that we need to be more involved during the preteen/teen years than ever before. They need our love, attention and for us to show them how to behave still and will always look to us to not only teach but model right from wrong.
Before I go on, did you know that kids can be on their phones at school these days? I don't know if it's just his school but yup it's allowed. After hearing this I started thinking, he gets to be on his phone at school then comes home, puts his ear buds in his ears and sticks his nose in his phone til it's bedtime? Keep in mind that I have no idea what he's listening to or watching. Another thing my son shared with me, is that his friends are looking at porn on their phones. I like to think that my son does not mess with that stuff but really all we can do is just keep letting him know that we trust him to not look at that stuff and trust his judgement. Trust is a huge thing in my house and he hasn't done anything for us to question his judgment.
OK, back to the experiment. After the phones are turned in they can use that time to do their chores, home work and anything else within reason til dinner time. It's nice to have their homework done before my husband gets home because after dinner we can use that time to hang out as a family whether it's watching a movie or talking (my daughter loves to talk).
When we are done with our family time the kids are given back their phones. There is no set time as to when they get them back, every night this week it has been all at different times. One night they didn't get their phones til they fell asleep so they didn't really have any "phone time" at home. Another evening they got it back at 8:30pm. Now I'm a reasonable person, I had them helping me with a big cleaning project and they asked if they could listen to music on their phones while cleaning. I agreed but the rule was that they could not do anything else on their phones and no ear buds. My daughter can be so much easier at times than my son. He kept trying to sneak all this other stuff while wearing ear buds! I gave him 2 warnings and after that I took his phone away. My daughter on the other hand was able to keep her phone cause she followed our agreement.
The pros of this experiment is that my sons attitude has been way better then in recent weeks. For my daughter, well she doesn't really have an issue with being on her phone a lot, shes more into painting her nails and wanting to hang out with us. I hope she stays that way! Downside, my son gives me a little mean look for time to time when he has to turn in his phone but it fades away after he realizes that it won't change anything.
All in all, this has proven to be a huge success! We will definitely be doing this from here on out.
Yesterday I was thinking how much your child needs you when they are babies. They need our love, attention and for us to show them how to behave. I always thought that as they got older I would be less in demand but it is the complete opposite. I find that we need to be more involved during the preteen/teen years than ever before. They need our love, attention and for us to show them how to behave still and will always look to us to not only teach but model right from wrong.
Saturday, September 12, 2015
Stay At Home Mom Melt Down
I use to be the kind of woman that wore heels (not just any little ol' heels but high heels) everyday, makeup perfectly done and my hair smoothly straightened. Now, that I have had the blessing of being a stay at home mom, my appearance has taken a 180. Let's get this straight, I do not wear a lot of make up in the first place and normally don't mind showing my fresh make up free face, the problems lays with this becoming the norm.
What I want to know is, is this normal behavior or am I just letting myself go?
I wake up, get my daughter started with school, start cleaning the house (sweep, clean bathrooms and do laundry), work out, help my daughter with school work, take a shower and rush to pick my son up from school. Once we get back to the house, I help my daughter with more school work, take my son to kickboxing, come home, make dinner and then eat with my family. When dinner is done I make sure the kids do their chores and try to catch up with my husband about his day at work. Normally, we try to take the kids to play basketball or spend time with them some how, after that it's bedtime and my husband and I are off to the gym. My goodness, my head is spinning just listing all the stuff that gets done on a daily basis, OK my point being, when is there time to do my make up and my hair? And where will I wear my heels to?
To be honest I'm lucky if I'm in the shower by noon! Worse case scenario I'll jump in around 2 in the afternoon. So why do my make up, wasting my $50 bottle of foundation just to do house work, be a taxi and wash it off soon after? Yes, I know, so that my husband can come home to me looking like a prom queen. It just doesn't feel all that worth it when he is attracted to me with no make up equally. Like I mentioned, I'm not that bad looking in the natural to begin with. Taking a moment to toot my own horn, toot, toot. ;)
Is this a crisis I'm going through? Am I not the hot woman my husband fell in love with? Do I still have sex appeal? Is wearing "mom jeans" the next step for me? Ultimately, it would be comforting to know that I am not alone in this. Yes, there are times when I go 6 days with out putting make up on and doing my hair but there are also those weeks when I do put it on and do my hair for the thrill of it.
Pause. Be right back.
I'm back. While writing this post I took a break to put some foundation, mascara and lip gloss on and I must say, I feel pretty damn good. I need to look at the bright side, my husband still finds me desirable with no make up on and at least I'm still shaving my legs on a regular basis.
What I want to know is, is this normal behavior or am I just letting myself go?
I wake up, get my daughter started with school, start cleaning the house (sweep, clean bathrooms and do laundry), work out, help my daughter with school work, take a shower and rush to pick my son up from school. Once we get back to the house, I help my daughter with more school work, take my son to kickboxing, come home, make dinner and then eat with my family. When dinner is done I make sure the kids do their chores and try to catch up with my husband about his day at work. Normally, we try to take the kids to play basketball or spend time with them some how, after that it's bedtime and my husband and I are off to the gym. My goodness, my head is spinning just listing all the stuff that gets done on a daily basis, OK my point being, when is there time to do my make up and my hair? And where will I wear my heels to?
To be honest I'm lucky if I'm in the shower by noon! Worse case scenario I'll jump in around 2 in the afternoon. So why do my make up, wasting my $50 bottle of foundation just to do house work, be a taxi and wash it off soon after? Yes, I know, so that my husband can come home to me looking like a prom queen. It just doesn't feel all that worth it when he is attracted to me with no make up equally. Like I mentioned, I'm not that bad looking in the natural to begin with. Taking a moment to toot my own horn, toot, toot. ;)
Is this a crisis I'm going through? Am I not the hot woman my husband fell in love with? Do I still have sex appeal? Is wearing "mom jeans" the next step for me? Ultimately, it would be comforting to know that I am not alone in this. Yes, there are times when I go 6 days with out putting make up on and doing my hair but there are also those weeks when I do put it on and do my hair for the thrill of it.
Pause. Be right back.
I'm back. While writing this post I took a break to put some foundation, mascara and lip gloss on and I must say, I feel pretty damn good. I need to look at the bright side, my husband still finds me desirable with no make up on and at least I'm still shaving my legs on a regular basis.
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
Why WiFi, Why?!
My daughter has been an official online student for one whole month and we love it!
We are able to make our own schedule that works for us, which we try to stay within the traditional hours of school. I get to be in the loop of what she is learning as well as being able to better help her with "homework." The exposure to the preteen girl drama is minimized, parents, you know what I'm talking about. Girls can be so catty.
The downside is when the WiFi isn't working so well. This whole WiFi is a mystery to me, some days it works perfectly fine and days like today it's a headache! I unplug it and plug it back in, log out and back in, reboot the computer, switched computers, everything besides hit the darn thing with a bat! This is my only downside for online school.
Technology, pffff.
We are able to make our own schedule that works for us, which we try to stay within the traditional hours of school. I get to be in the loop of what she is learning as well as being able to better help her with "homework." The exposure to the preteen girl drama is minimized, parents, you know what I'm talking about. Girls can be so catty.
The downside is when the WiFi isn't working so well. This whole WiFi is a mystery to me, some days it works perfectly fine and days like today it's a headache! I unplug it and plug it back in, log out and back in, reboot the computer, switched computers, everything besides hit the darn thing with a bat! This is my only downside for online school.
Technology, pffff.
Sunday, September 6, 2015
The Dreaded Talk
The other night part I of the "dreaded talk" went well. Not so lucky with part II the other night.
No matter how I approach it, how I word it, what the situation is, I am always perceived as the one who is knit picking or being harsh. Every word I say is under a microscope. This is the challenge that I face and will hopefully one day, not.
The teenage attitude has been going on for a little longer than I can handle. When it comes time for some type of consequences, since "talks" clearly aren't working, then, that's when things take a turn for me. I love and discipline my son no different then my daughter. Example: I recently I took away my daughter's phone because she was getting a little to sassy for my liking with me and did my husband have any issues with that, no. In my sons case, I'm talking about the next time he gives me an attitude or back talks me that I'm going to take away his phone, now it's an issue. All of a sudden it becomes, "let's give him warnings." As if a week long of talks isn't enough and not only that but comparing to my daughter, she didn't get any warnings. If a child is disrespectful to their parents there should be no warning. My kids know right from wrong and are raised to respect us, that is their warning.
Needles to say that part II didn't end so well. The real kicker is that my husband usually works Saturdays but took this weekend off and this is how we spend it? With distance between us days before our wedding anniversary? I thought we were passed all of this. Haven't we learned nothing? Why does it escalate to this every single time it has to do with "his" kids?
Refusing to let this get the better of our weekend I decided we needed to have yet another talk, take two on talk two. Luckily for us, giving up is not an option. I don't care how many arguments we get into, one way or another we will figure it out, together! And that is exactly what we did.
We agreed that, the more he is on his phone he does get crankier and phones are a privilege that can be taken away. The next time he gets testy when he is home with me, his phone will be confiscated and he will have to call my husband at work to tell him what just happened. With this new approach I will not be the only "bad guy." If my husband is home then he will handle the situation to let him know that he cannot talk like that to me. My husband is my hero. :)
When you have kids no one gives you a rule book and when you marry into a blended it family it is no different. As our kids grow our rules and approaches change with them. What worked when they were 10, does not work at teenage years. This is not a lifestyle for the faint at heart, in my husbands words, 'if it was easy, everyone would be doing it." I am happy and honored to be taking this journey with a man that is willing to grow with me (and our kids) rather then giving up because the road can get bumpy, we will triumph together.
No matter how I approach it, how I word it, what the situation is, I am always perceived as the one who is knit picking or being harsh. Every word I say is under a microscope. This is the challenge that I face and will hopefully one day, not.
The teenage attitude has been going on for a little longer than I can handle. When it comes time for some type of consequences, since "talks" clearly aren't working, then, that's when things take a turn for me. I love and discipline my son no different then my daughter. Example: I recently I took away my daughter's phone because she was getting a little to sassy for my liking with me and did my husband have any issues with that, no. In my sons case, I'm talking about the next time he gives me an attitude or back talks me that I'm going to take away his phone, now it's an issue. All of a sudden it becomes, "let's give him warnings." As if a week long of talks isn't enough and not only that but comparing to my daughter, she didn't get any warnings. If a child is disrespectful to their parents there should be no warning. My kids know right from wrong and are raised to respect us, that is their warning.
Needles to say that part II didn't end so well. The real kicker is that my husband usually works Saturdays but took this weekend off and this is how we spend it? With distance between us days before our wedding anniversary? I thought we were passed all of this. Haven't we learned nothing? Why does it escalate to this every single time it has to do with "his" kids?
Refusing to let this get the better of our weekend I decided we needed to have yet another talk, take two on talk two. Luckily for us, giving up is not an option. I don't care how many arguments we get into, one way or another we will figure it out, together! And that is exactly what we did.
We agreed that, the more he is on his phone he does get crankier and phones are a privilege that can be taken away. The next time he gets testy when he is home with me, his phone will be confiscated and he will have to call my husband at work to tell him what just happened. With this new approach I will not be the only "bad guy." If my husband is home then he will handle the situation to let him know that he cannot talk like that to me. My husband is my hero. :)
When you have kids no one gives you a rule book and when you marry into a blended it family it is no different. As our kids grow our rules and approaches change with them. What worked when they were 10, does not work at teenage years. This is not a lifestyle for the faint at heart, in my husbands words, 'if it was easy, everyone would be doing it." I am happy and honored to be taking this journey with a man that is willing to grow with me (and our kids) rather then giving up because the road can get bumpy, we will triumph together.
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Sleep Over On A School Night
I agreed for my sister to have a sleep over with my kids tonight, what was I thinking?!
My poor husband couldn't even watch his football game in peace with the kids, my sister, even the dogs running and screaming around the house having a water fight. My clean floors that I spent all morning mopping didn't stand a chance.
Doesn't anyone care about all the effort I put into keeping our beautiful hardwood floors clean? I mean, seriously, you can walk bare foot without dirt sticking to your feet, you can even act like Tom Cruise and slide across my floors in WHITE SOCKS and still be clean! Nobody? Just me?
The shenanigans came to an end after I yelled at everyone over my floors being dirty. Make all the noise you want but don't mess with my floors. They made the mess so now they have to clean it. I still haven't been able to build up enough courage or patience to go and look at their mop job. I am not ashamed to admit that I like my floors to be mopped in a professional and detail manner, there is no way they could have pulled that off.
Please tell me that, that's not round 2 I hear starting up...
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
United Home Front
The joys of being at home full time is being able to raise the kids, take them to their activities and really get to hang out with them. Downside, is that I get the attitudes, the faces and have to be the enforcer of the rules.
In the beginning I use to wait for my husband to come home from work to discipline "his" kids but that just didn't work. It was strange to wait so long, sometimes 5 hours after the "offense" took place, to go back and handle the situation, especially since I'm there when it happens. Also, like most dads he wants to be the fun parent and at the time didn't feel comfortable being in the disciplinary role. How we go about it now is that he tells the all the kids the rules of the house and I enforce what those rules are, team work!
There are some situations where I will wait for my husband to get home so that him and I can talk with, whichever, child together, after all we are a united front. Or I will ask him to have a talk with one of the kids one on one to find out whats going on with them, sometimes a father's touch is needed. Taking this approach has made him feel more comfortable in the disciplinary role. This also helped the kids to see that it's not just me that is the "mean one" and that he supports me and I support him.
Truth be told, with the amount of hours he works there is no way he can know what is going on here at the house with the kids until I fill him in. Even though we are all on the same team, it never gets easier for me to tell him that something is up with one of the kids, talk about being a Debbie Downer.
It's almost like being the barer of bad news, it sucks! "Hey honey, I know you worked all day and drove in crazy traffic but hey here's another thing that you need to add to your list of Not Fun Stuff To Do." Even though that is not actually what I say, it sure does feel that way. Why can't it be more like, "Hi darling, where are we vacationing at this weekend?" One day...one day.
While in the sauna tonight sweating out our fat together, I get to have that talk that I dread so much with my husband. I wish I could just do it all myself rather then feeling like I'm adding another burden onto him.
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