I talk about our two kids often and nothing about our other two, there are many reasons for this. My husband's oldest is 20 yrs old and she does not live with us nor is there much of a relationship between us. She is every bit of the troubled or rebellious child. It's hard to talk about her and not sound like I'm bashing her character but the sad truth is that she is not much of a moral person. We have done everything imaginable to help her and did our best to guide her to live a good life. It breaks my heart to see how she chooses to live and treat her family. I can only imagine how my husband feels seeing his little daddy's girl grow up to be this way and not have a relationship with her.
The latest was her mom calling my husband saying she hasn't heard from her in 4 days and that shes been a no call no show at work, prompting her to file a missing persons report. While her mom and grandmother were worried my husband was very calm and sure of what was going on with her. His prediction was that she was back with her loser boyfriend and took off with him some where and turned off her phone so there would be no interruptions. During the days she was missing her mom was going to her daughter's friends houses, calling her boss and in the process finding out how serious her daughter's deception goes. It came as no surprise to my husband or myself but her mom was really shocked and disturbed by it. She strikes me as being in denial about how or who her daughter really is.
In the past my husband, her mom, her mom's boyfriend and myself have all sat down to make a plan of how to stir her in the right direction. The plan lasted only a week. It's hard because we can't make someone change or encourage them to do better when they are over 18 and can leave at anytime. She was brought up with a lack of discipline so now that there are rules it's foreign to her. Instead she chooses to live from house to house, or supposedly renting a room but in order to rent anything you need money and that's what she does not have. She sneaks living at my mother in laws house, the challenging thing with that is that she hides her there so that my husband won't go over there and tell her to leave. She's lived with my mother in law before and we thought maybe it'll work out but it just turned into her taking advantage of her 80 yr old grandmother and being disrespectful. What 80 year old needs that from a 20 year old let alone her own grandchild that she'll do anything for?
All the way around it is a sensitive subject. The only thing we can do is literally pray that she sees the error in her ways and that she is safe.
In my teens and 20's I was not an angel, far from it to be honest, but I have always valued and respected my family. My parents never stirred away from disciplining me or showing me tough love. It is not easy to discipline but the outcome of it is so worth it. Now that I am older and understand why it was done I can honestly say, my mom is my best friend.
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