In the beginning I use to wait for my husband to come home from work to discipline "his" kids but that just didn't work. It was strange to wait so long, sometimes 5 hours after the "offense" took place, to go back and handle the situation, especially since I'm there when it happens. Also, like most dads he wants to be the fun parent and at the time didn't feel comfortable being in the disciplinary role. How we go about it now is that he tells the all the kids the rules of the house and I enforce what those rules are, team work!
There are some situations where I will wait for my husband to get home so that him and I can talk with, whichever, child together, after all we are a united front. Or I will ask him to have a talk with one of the kids one on one to find out whats going on with them, sometimes a father's touch is needed. Taking this approach has made him feel more comfortable in the disciplinary role. This also helped the kids to see that it's not just me that is the "mean one" and that he supports me and I support him.
Truth be told, with the amount of hours he works there is no way he can know what is going on here at the house with the kids until I fill him in. Even though we are all on the same team, it never gets easier for me to tell him that something is up with one of the kids, talk about being a Debbie Downer.
It's almost like being the barer of bad news, it sucks! "Hey honey, I know you worked all day and drove in crazy traffic but hey here's another thing that you need to add to your list of Not Fun Stuff To Do." Even though that is not actually what I say, it sure does feel that way. Why can't it be more like, "Hi darling, where are we vacationing at this weekend?" One day...one day.
While in the sauna tonight sweating out our fat together, I get to have that talk that I dread so much with my husband. I wish I could just do it all myself rather then feeling like I'm adding another burden onto him.
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