After talking more she comes out and says, he said it a couple months ago, well a couple months ago makes a whole lot of sense. A couple months ago he was being rude and moody towards me. Frankly, a couple months ago I didn't want him here either cause he was mean as hell to me, of course I didn't say that. What I should've said was, "read my blog because his attitude is well documented on there" haha.
She said he didn't like the way I talked to him. I assured her that I have never yelled or raised my voice at him but I was firm with him and let him know that talking to me that way was not OK. I was brave enough to tell her that, I do not regret telling him that because while he's talking to me like that I have my 11 year old watching and I need to show her that it is not OK for someone to talk to me like that. I asked if he has said he doesn't want to come over here again recently and she said no.
It just strikes me as odd that she showed no concern about how he was being rude to an adult and that she even had an issue with us monitoring his phone use. Saying that it's not right to cut him off from his friends by taking his phone. I told her, he's without his phone for 3-4 hours out of the day, that's it. That seemed to just go over her head.
She went even lower by saying, our 2 other daughters don't live with us and now our son doesn't want to, so we must be doing something to the kids.
The fact is that our oldest is 20 years old! She shouldn't be living at home with us and doesn't even live with her either! In fact our oldest was living with us before she turned 18 full time and not going to her moms, until she got rebellious and moved out. Our other daughter (who is from another woman )lives far away. Which makes her statement not only irrelevant but nasty and unjust. I could have stooped to that level and point the finger about what's going on in her house and how her step daughter refuses to live over there but instead I just listened and corrected whatever lies (from my son )were being said to her.
I called my husband, now I see why he doesn't like dealing with this lady. After telling him everything he was not surprised and said he wasn't worried about anything that she said because over there she lets him do his own thing and here there are rules. He did say that he will talk to our son to reassure him that we love him, we only want the best for him and we are always here for him.
Why would a mother be OK with their child being disrespectful? Is it OK because I am "just the step mom?" How can she not be concerned as a mom about her son spending 8 hrs straight on his phone? Are we in the wrong? How does she run her household? What is wrong with this lady? How many more years do I have to deal with her?
I hung up the phone with way more questions and more disturbed of her thinking than my son saying he doesn't want to be here. Kids will be kids, I have not met one that will not spin a story in their favor or be overly dramatic. He's a teenage boy, it's expected. But she made it seem as if we were depriving him or torturing him without even acknowledging that she understood it's OK for kids to have rules. She seemed like her son was overly righteous to be having rules.
Though my husband advised me to, "let it go," I couldn't help but wonder, are we in the wrong? Later that day I went to pick up my son from school, he got in the car happy as can be ready to tell me about his day. As I dropped him off at kickboxing, he exited the car with a smile and a wave bye. His positive nature towards me assured me that, yes he is a teenage boy that gets upset, just like anyone else but...we're OK. :)
My husband and I are both in an agreement with how we conduct our house and raise our kids. We have seen positive results from the rules that are in place. We are close as a family, through the good and bad times. My husband said it best, "I'd rather he's disconnected with his friends for a few hours than disconnected with his family."
Will we change our parenting because of this woman's two (non)cents? No. Will we keep an eye on our son's behavior? Yes. All we want is the best for our kids. Even if they can't understand why we do what we do, when they are older and parents, they will understand.
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